Today it rains. The cars rush down the street outside. I've come home from running errands. A sad day when it rains like this.
The afternoon project:
Sorting and hanging the clothes in the bedroom closet. I would like to paint the inside of that closet Benjamin Moore's Peppermint. One can of paint should do.
The blonde wood hangers will complement the pink walls should I get the closet painted. In the spring I will replace the fall shirts with the warm weather ones stored in the under bed box. I have just two under bed boxes for out of season pants and shirts. It always amazes me that some people have so much stuff that they need to vacuum everything into those frightful space bags sold on TV commercials.
It's possible I'd have more hanging space in the closet if I had one long rod from which I could hang my clothes left to right. In the closet now I have two separate rods on each side of the closet running from front to back. The closet is wider than it is deeper so I'm convinced the space is wasted in the middle. I could paint the walls and use wallpaper on the back wall. On the hat shelf above the rods I store my clear hat boxes and a Liz Claiborne tote I so rarely use now. On the floor I store the shoes on the shoe rack.
To me organizing and making things neat is as close to beauty as you could get.
Right now I would like to buy a blue boucle skirt I saw in a shop and if I did I would consider donating an old winter skirt to the Salvation Army. The zipper on the skirt was tricky when I tried it on the other day so I would ask for a discount on top of the half off price.
Today in a store the cashier asked if I wanted to add a dollar to the sale to help provide aid for the people in Haiti and I told her yes. I imagine that most people will do that when given the opportunity.
I finished writing chapter three of my second book. The woman who gave me the reading said she saw my memoir being published however it would take a long time to find an agent who was receptive to publishing a book on the topic of schizophrenia. She knew I would ultimately find an agent because she said she saw the second step: the book being published.
Would love to publish the books and become a motivational speaker and ditch my day job. Alas: that is not realistic as I want to keep my health insurance.
One can dream.
A friend and I went back to the shop and the owner called another store to send over the skirt in my size. I tried on a black satin dress with a sweetheart neckline and it looked ugly on me plus didn't fit so I placed it back on the rack. The blue skirt was a size 8 and it was too big on me even though it was wool.
I feel sad about the schizophrenia tonight. I have long since stopped being angry about what happened. Right now I feel a little sad.
Retail therapy helps. Today I bought a pair of gold suede ballet slippers I can wear with the new skirt. I will wear the outfit on Friday when I meet a friend after work.
You roll with life. You walk on. You trust your instinct.
Life will continue from here. You have to let life be your guide and not seek divine intervention. What you want will come to you if you have faith. You just have to believe.
Dealing with the uncertainty is hard. It is hard to let go of the need to be in control. You might not be certain of what the future holds and that is OK. You must embrace the uncertainty and welcome the not knowing.
When all else fails: I believe in the power of a gorgeous skirt to transform my life.
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