Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Dare Beautiful Girl

Today I go to the gym and do 30 minutes on the treadmill.

I gave my friend the bag of wooden hangers and I still have two bags of hangers to donate to the Salvation Army along with the other stuff. I have four bags to send to Sal's and would like to do that early next week.

The woman who gave me the reading told me that when I was in my late forties I would be faced with a decision and the choice would be mine to make.

I went to the coffeehouse with O. last night and then we stayed in Starbuck's talking until nine o'clock. I'm kind of cool and haven't revealed much about my experiences living with the schizophrenia. I understand all too well how it is when you strive for some kind of professional career and then you get sick and have to do what it takes just to stay healthy. The woman said he likes me because I'm enthusiastic and a good listener and I smile. She said I have a beautiful smile. Two people independently over the years told me I have a smile that could light up a room.

The lyrics to that song come into my head about not hurrying love because you just have to wait and that it doesn't come easy because it's a game of give and take. Who sang that song? Phil Collins? It was popular years ago.

Today I finish the organizing project. I would like in March to hire the painter to come paint the inside of the closet. Most likely he will charge only $100 dollars though he might not come to do such a small job. Every day when I open the closet to choose my clothes I want to feel good looking inside it.

The young girl came yesterday to clean my apartment and I tipped her $15. While she was here I and the friend browsed the shops. Ana reminded me that it is Type A to be obsessed with having matching hangers.

Ana also said something interesting when we compared notes about our psychic readings. The woman said I lacked confidence in myself and I told my friend that it doesn't matter if you lack confidence because as long as you persist and keep taking action you'll gain confidence and achieve what you set out to do.

Ana commented in an astute way that people who are confident could tend not to be inspired to challenge themselves because they're satisfied with how things are. She believed people who had self-doubt were motivated to prove they could do something so kept trying to better themselves.

I believe this is true: people who are confident with how their lives are playing out could see no reason to change things whereas people for whom good enough isn't good enough will always strive for perfection. The Uncle Ben's rice advertisement [in which their spokesperson is now chairman of the board] said something to the effect that perfection cannot be obtained however you should keep trying.

That's why some people aren't satisfied with things the way things are and strive to continually improve themselves.

I look at my inspiration board now with pictures of modern Classic outfits on it and the profile of Audrey Hepburn and the dog tags that spell out dare beautiful girl. Would love to post a photo of O. on it.

I wish I could have the woman come every month to clean however it is expensive. I can live with a little dust however I cannot live in a mess.

Would love to invite O. to my birthday party. I'll use the HD radio to provide a radio station for the music soundtrack. Will serve pizza and toast 45 with champagne.


Good night.

1 comment:

Karen May Sorensen said...

My sister is named Audrey after Audrey Hepburn. As fate would have it, my sister happens to be very beautiful. I own a couple of Audrey Hepburn movies and myself am a big a fan.

Oh, you would cry if you could see my closet! But I'm imagining yours, and this summer, I may be inspired to clean mine out. I have a miniature crystal chandelier that my husband has promised to install in it. The closet, happily, has a very high ceiling. Right now I am using that ceiling to pile sweaters up, and up, and up.

My bedroom is mint green, and it never occurred to me to paint the interior of the closet a different color. But the interior of my closet is mint green as well, and I do love the color.

The only thing I want to do, more than fix the lighting in the closet, is put a long scarf over the top of the window curtains. One that would run across the bar in the middle and drape down either side. The curtains are mint green, and simply blend in with the wall. A floral scarf (can't get too girly though because I share the bedroom with my husband) would add a splash of color. When designing window treatments I am a big fan of taking care of three sides, and by all means, hiding the bar across the top.

Just a note after that post; I've added a link to your blog on my website - schizoaffectiveartist.com. Just wanted you to know that your website was getting out into the world. Hope this brings you more traffic.

Take care,
Karen Sorensen