Hope springs on this rainy day. The kind of hope that is rational. What kind of hope?
That the price of not doing your art is greater than the cost of doing it and not getting recognition. Mondrian-considered the father of modern art-had to paint flowers to earn money because fame eluded him while he was alive.
A friend called me an artist today and itemized scenarios about what could happen:
I could get married before my books are published. I could become a social worker first and be an expert like Kay Redfield Jamison. I could obtain fame through my fiction.
I understood in the quick of the time of this conversation that an artist must create her whole life long things of beauty that give her and hopefully others joy.
In one week I begin a painting.
From here on in I work on my second book. It is 115 pages and next week I will add five pages to the fourth chapter.
Life goes on. It always does.
So you do your art because it makes you happy.
You do not quit. You keep positive.
I do all of this: write and paint and decorate and fashion a look of beauty.
Living well is the best revenge.
Dressing well is the best defense.
It is time to let go and let life.
You must live with the uncertainty.
You must trust that the seeds you plant will bear fruit in due season.
You must do your art.
That is what it comes down to: like the Madonna song you must "Express Yourself." Do the things that give you joy. Live passionate.
One day you might be gone and the world will find:
a notebook or a sketch or a painting or a manuscript.
You keep these things first of all for your own enjoyment.
You do this so that you can recover or that you can live your life.
Recognition is secondary.
Only I covet recognition so that is my downfall. I must strip away this protective cover and remember: I do these things because I must regardless of whether I meet with other people's approval.
No I will not quit. This is my story. I share it with you in the hope that you will be inspired to risk dreaming of a better life.
I hope it is sunny and warm where you are. I hope you are keeping dry.
Will go sign off now and attend to a writing project.
Did I know when I graduated school that just four years later I would become a freelance writer? Did I know when I was diagnosed 23 years ago that this is how my life would turn out? Of course not. So there is always hope even when you can't see the light at the end of the road. Hope springs eternal. The secret is to trust yourself to keep taking action because if you keep taking action you surely will succeed.
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