Friday, February 5, 2010

Circling to the Center

Friday news:

I revised the query letter according to the first editor's suggestions. The second editor I spoke with on the phone today was a true professional as well. The tight market can only be a good thing because it will force writers to bring their A game to the business of publishing a book.

I wear the green tee shirt with the I Love Brooklyn message under my purple wool cardigan and the ivory cotton skullcap.

What shall I wear tomorrow? It is supposed to be cold again even though there's only six weeks until spring. Maybe the red hooded sweater and the black jeans.

I listen to the Norah Jones CD Come Away With Me now. I much prefer Norah. I was listening to the rock-n-roll radio and I felt sad because it was old hat. 25 years ago I was someone who blazed a trail and after that everything else was predestined.

It happens like this: in one moment-out of the blue-you realize it's time to move on. In actuality you were moving towards that light bulb flash for years.

Will buy a Rihanna CD and the India.Arie CD with the song "Therapy" on it to broaden the vocalists I can listen to at home.

It's all old-the music and that life-it's old hat. The music doesn't entrance me any more. So be it. I live in the middle now. All these years I was circling to the center.

One thing I will tell you: while the recovery of Elyn Saks with her Yale law degree is out of reach for most people I do believe my kind of recovery is possible for most.

It comes down to this: I achieved mind freedom via the medication and that is what a person can expect if she stays faithful to her drug routine: she can recover.

So each year of your life you can break down into seasons of discovery and recovery. I wait out these six weeks until spring. I use this time wisely.

I'm keen to get fitter and so I'm making changes to my eating habits: I bought balsamic dressing to use on salads instead of salad dressings made with food dyes. I bought sliced beets to have as a snack and bulgur to cook with. Bulgur-also known as cracked wheat-is a whole grain that is high in fiber and cooks quickly. So I'll add that to my evening meals instead of just having fish or chicken and a vegetable.

Slow and gradual changes are the kinds that last and so I do not dive in I make one change each week for the next six weeks.

The table top easel arrived in the mail today. I have a canvas on the easel ready to go. I want to paint a sunflower using a ceramic dinner plate pattern as my model.

Do you see how it is? I would be content to spend my days painting and writing and listening to music.

Nothing else matters.

I'm realistic: if this is as good as it gets, so be it. So be it.

Life will go on.

When you realize this is all you have and there's no place you'd rather be:

life is divine.

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