Thursday, March 11, 2010

Dance of Life

You move through your life treading water at times. One day is not like any other. You sit at the bar at Starbuck's eating a chicken and vegetable wrap with your mind in a tailspin as you stare out the window.

You remember you can't hold your breath waiting for your turn and so you do everything possible to make it your turn soon. You plan only three weeks in advance. You tango with your demons until the song ends. One day the song will end.

Life goes on. As it always does. The memories are dimmer now. You regard them with a kind and distant eye. What could you tell others? Your standards are so high that you don't consider yourself to have recovered until 10 years later when you went to grad school.

Everything leading to this moment was the prelude. You have only this moment. You hope to have other moments that are good too. Only now you cannot plan for the future. One day is all you have. A day that is not always happy as far as days go.

_______________________


I have decided to make some changes that have been a long time coming.

Changing the nature of Joyful Music while keeping true to its roots is one of the changes I finesse. You cannot remain stuck in an outdated life. I wonder if elements of my natal chart suggest my tendency to be the first to initiate new modes of communication. I have Mercury in Aries. Is that the reason I'm not content to rest on my laurels? I always seek the next big challenge it seems and lead the way for others to follow.

I wonder. What's next? A person's life could turn on a dime. One must keep tune to the new music. She must leave the era before the era leaves her.

It is spring in one week. Hooray spring!

The jeans Mom bought me from Wal Mart are dark railroad stripe jeans so now I have two pairs of this kind of jeans. The khaki pants she gave me I'm not enamored of however I like the railroad stripe pair. You accept that your mother wants to buy you clothes and indulge her this treat though you don't understand it and would rather not encourage her. You do it because she is your mother and she loves you.

The spring beckons. A beautiful time of year. A new season of your life.

You decide you will dress in the new jeans and tango like a wild woman.

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