It's like I've woke up and I'm ready to greet the new day, go out and do new things and see where life takes me in the next two or three years. This could involve meeting new people of all stripes for love and friendship, I'll see where that goes.
The urge to discard the unworkable, unlivable has struck with full force. 2009 will be a 2 Personal Year according to my numerology chart, and I'm glad to be done with the testing I experienced in 2008 when I turned 43.
The setback in not being able to move out of this apartment right away is only temporary yet feels like I'm stuck in a rut, so the key thing is to create changes in other areas of my life to compensate for living here.
And so the painting projects. I've decided I also want to paint the inside of the bedroom closet a light blue, as well as the living room. And I've ordered an under bed storage box to place the hangers in, to keep on the highest shelf of the closet, which is empty. This way I don't have to cart the 15 or so hangers to Mom's. The closet project will keep me going and energize me, as well as the photo project.
Kate's current blog entry [click on the link to her blog, on the right] is right on about getting stuck in negative patterns that we've fallen into, like addictions and "stinking thinking." I realize that what happened to me two weeks ago is out of my control, yet how I respond to it will determine whether I can succeed. I look on the bright side now and I'm committed to reducing spending to counter the effect of losing one of my jobs.
It's all a mindset. The Woman's Day magazine has an article about how resilience is the number-one trait in overcoming adversity, and I take this to heart. I'll be writing about resilience for a Connection blog entry shortly.
Young Frankenstein was good. Afterward, we dined in Ruth's Chris Steak House again. Charlie picked me up and drove us there and back. I will keep things out of this. I will only say it's draining to be around people who are critical. A protest to free Palestine was taking place in Times Square as we walked to the theater. That's the great thing about America: you might not like somebody else, yet they have the right to speak out in a free country. I keep how I feel to myself, yet I know others who will vocalize their displeasure.
People harshed on Ayaan Hirsi Ali and yet I think she's justified in how she went about advocating for the rights of Muslim women. One clitorectomy on a five-year old girl is one mutilation too many. The fact that certain Christians as well as Muslims perform this operation is of no concern to me. I respect and admire Ayaan and think she's on to something. It's all about religion, which is sad, a warped, twisted version of religion, which has nothing to do with faith or being spiritual. I have no problem with her anti-Muslim stance because the fact that other religions practice female mutilation doesn't make the Muslim practice any more acceptable. Ayaan Hirsi Ali's critics question her glossing over the facts, and this doesn't bother me. Either the media selectively chooses its darlings, or not many other people are speaking out against female mutilation.
So you live in America and can say these things, protest on the streets of Times Square or quietly go about your business. I have no doubt the media is a watered-down version of what goes on. I believe the Religious Right get it wrong, as most religions do that parse the bible and other holy texts like the Quran. I'm willing to stand with Ayaan Hirsi Ali as an infidel rather than remain silent and warm a church pew every Sunday and ignore that the Catholic church won't accept my views on women's rights.
Those of us who use our voice to better the world are going to meet resistance. In a second blog entry today I'm going to post a copy of the "handwritten sign found on the wall of Mother Teresa's room," which so beautifully describes what goes on.
To one critic's credit, she got me interested in reading other writers who aren't widely touted in the media. And I don't want to sound like I'm suggesting "silence equals acceptance," because it's each person's right to choose whether or not she takes up a cause, and what that cause is.
My goal, plain and simple, is to be a messenger of hope. I believe in my vision that people can recover from SZ. That's my "one thing" I'm here to do in this lifetime. Ayaan Hirsi Ali had hers, and you will have yours.
I support everyone, regardless of whether they speak out or not. Yet everyone has a voice that is hers alone, and when we find our voices, we're empowered.
There, I've gone from the private to the political in this blog entry.
All roads lead to an awakening in 2009. I feel this year will be one of my best. I'm willing to take a chance on shaking things up, making changes that benefit me in the next two or three years. The setback I experienced was hard to deal with, yet if I can brighten my outlook by brightening the four living room walls, that will boost me and go a long way in giving me joy as I deal with the uncertainty.
One person who lives her life and is authentic, I admire for her courage because being true to yourself is possibly the most radical act of all. It requires a level of honesty most people aren't willing to embrace. So I salute the woman who sits at her kitchen table writing in a journal, or walks up to the mailbox to post a letter, or keeps a blog, or is a mother, or is single. The right of all of us to be who we are is the greatest freedom human beings have.
So, I can tell you it will get easier in your recovery if you act resilient, change your outlook to embrace a better future in a realistic way. To like yourself is a freeing energy and when you like yourself and are happy, it paves a road where there was no road.
That's the ultimate goal: peace of mind, which is a freedom unlike any other.
So I urge you to think about the little things you can do in 2009 that can have a big impact; subtle changes that yield positive results.
Everyone who faces a struggle is a winner in my book, by virtue of their waking up and greeting the new day with courage.
Keep on keeping on, because there is hope.
NO ONE LISTENS… - I I have been able to speak now for at least a month, but before that there were four months of what I can only call subconsciously self-impose...
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