Scrambled

Again, I'm tempted to come back because the bait is so appealing:

I would rather have 10 good years on the drugs, instead of 50 psychotic years.

Chances are, if you don't take the drugs, you could die of suicide [10 percent of those with SZ do] or have a greatly reduced life quality.

Besides, irrespective of the atypical I'm on, I'm at an elevated risk for heart disease that I had long before going on the Geodon. My grandmother died of a heart attack, too. I'm willing to take this risk. Life holds no guarantees. You could get killed in a car accident.

You have to recognize the statistical odds of getting a heart attack from taking an atypical, and if that's related to a side effect such as weight gain. Do you feel as I do that outsiders have no idea what it's like to live with SZ every day? It's so easy for them to suggest we stop taking our meds.

Sue, the psychic, told me I was going to live a "long, long time" in this lifetime. She obviously had the inside track. A woman in my writing workshop suggested that creative people live longer because they're involved in the things they love. This is undoubtedly true.

It's not about the number of years in your life, but the life in your years.

The truly alarming reality is that people with SZ die much earlier than other people do, and the side effects of the drugs, such as weight gain, can't be pleasant to live with.

So what do you do? Choose psychosis? I'd rather be dead.