Verdure

The book Verdure arrived in the mail in near-perfect condition even though Powell's described it as "very good" on Amazon.com. I could see nothing shabby about it. I will try to make one of the recipes on Sunday night.

Tomorrow I will go to the bookstore to see if I can find a good appointment book for 2010. The one I wanted at the Cooper Hewitt was $39 so I will hold off getting it if I can find a cheaper version that I like. The expensive one had a two-day view with color swatches on top of the date areas so it would've pleased the decorator in me.

The Sundance catalog arrived in the mail too and I found a military jacket that I might buy for the holidays. Today I wore the new green jacket and the Banana Republic necklace that everyone commented on because it was unusual. It is the most unique item of jewelry I own.

The Woodstock tee shirt is calling my name. I could get that to replace a tee shirt that doesn't do anything for me. It was a freebie that someone gave me when she returned from a convention. I could donate it to Sal's because it is in good condition-though it has an odd corporate slogan on it.

As with life as with your wardrobe change is the order of the day: to discard the old and replenish with new items is a way to stay mentally fresh. I have beaten this drum in here before so feel free to clunk me on the head with a pocketbook: there she goes again!

You feel better when you dress better. I've decided to reserve the boyfriend jeans for the weekend and after-hours. The faded jeans I haven't worn in what seems like a year. I stopped wearing them to work a long time ago. I would like to get a neat pair I saw in the Esprit store if they are still there when next I see Dr. Altman.

Sometimes: if it weren't for my love of fashion I wonder if I would be motivated to dress well. Slowly I've begun to dress sharp at work more often. That is what I expect of myself now. Though I can't erase the memories of how I dressed in the past I can move forward committed to change.

Change is the order of the day. Business as usual has not ever held sway with me.

I would urge you to find something you can be passionate about that distracts you from your worries. That is the one true way to rebel the role of a person with schizophrenia. As an activist it is not ever far from my mind that people struggle. Yet it is easier to live your life if you have something to look forward to when you wake up in the morning.

Planning outfits is something I eagerly await. I will keep the days I wear jeans to a minimum. Fluff-you think this is fluff-and wonder how one woman could obsess about this. Well: I have more to do while I'm here. I would love to convince everyone to do the things she loves every day without fail.

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Oh: on my way to an appointment I stopped in a truly low-rent discount store that was beyond belief. I eyed the pocketbooks scrupulously and examined them for defects. The one I liked was in pristine condition so I bought it along with a whisk to use when I bake things.

Yes: I have caved in and bought a whisk.

The store was so low-rent it wasn't funny. So you had to laugh.

It has become a mantra: dress well, dress well. The military jacket has a pocket on the left sleeve and that impresses me greatly-a real detail. I could wear it with the black turtleneck and dark jeans to dress up a casual outfit. I would get the jacket in crimson because it looks elegant punk in that color. The gray was an option I nixed although it would look more professional in the gray.

You see: this is how I am: obsessed with looking good. A friend told me all women are like this and that it's a natural tendency for women. I wondered if that was a stereotype or it were true. Do you think it is?

I take a radical stance on the topic: that reinvention could be a coping skill.

Please forgive me if I put too fine a point on this topic.


I've decided only to post here when I have something significant to write about.

(Though I could break that vow and the term is subjective. I could think something is significant and you could think it's quotidian. You might even think what I write is over-the-top. I grant you that.)


I will go leave you now and get ready for work.


Tootles.